I Don't Care What the Weatherman Says... If the Weatherman Says It's Raining

Come the sunny weather, the first thing I want to do is whip on my T-shirt and shorts, get out there, and let me and my moobs and muffin-top enjoy the glorious sunshine! I want to zip out for a stroll along the seafront, stop off for a 99, and then revel in the warmth some more.

(Of course, before doing all that, I slap on a bucket of sun cream.)

But come the wet and windy weather, my dressing gown and slippers go on, as does the kettle. Then I'll maybe hop into bed and let a good book do the rest. What else can I do?

On second thoughts, though, rainy days do have a purpose. They're Nature's way of making you clean out a cupboard, tidy your room, do homework or some other long overdue task. They're the chance to do everything you've been putting off because the weather has been so damned good!

Capitalising on your rainy day gives you such a boost. Then when the ole currant bun (sun!) comes back out to play, you can slip into your summer gear without that nagging voice in your head saying, 'You're gonna have to do it sooner or later.' 

So whatever it is you've gotta do, now's the time to do it. Then you can truly always take the weather with you!

'Gone Fishing'

Addressing you today, my dear reader, as a copywriter. I picked up a terrific tip from the copywriting e-zine The Writer and decided to pass it on.

This article was about the power of the 'Out of Office' reply and it hit the nail bang on the nut. I'd never thought about it before but, yeah, the automatic reply is a great opportunity to sell both your service and yourself. An absolute corker, in fact! 

Instead of putting 'Currently out of the office on business. Will be back on blah blah...', go for something that's witty, chirpier or shows a touch of character. You could tell the client about:

• how you're on holiday strolling round in a loud shirt
• how you're sitting in the dentist's chair hoping you'll still come out with all your teeth
• how you're in the doctor's waiting room and are onto your tenth issue of Bella.

Personality is a vital part of copywriting. Cliches and stock phrases assassinate copy whereas a sprinkle of personality brings it to life. It makes the copy fresh and invigorating while still gunning for its main objective: to sell or persuade.

But remember to include the number and/or email of the person assigned to solve your client's particular pickle while you're away. If not, you could come across as a bit of a joker. You're still still trying to do business, don't forget!

'I Bet They'd Scrub Up Nicely'

Gotta tell you about another smashing book I'm reading at the moment, The Philosophy of Andy Warhol.

Warhol's journey into his own mind is inspiring reading. Both entertaining and profound, there are some truly thought-provoking passages in the book. One of my favourites is this paragraph on work: 

The President has so much publicity potential that hasn't been exploited. He should just sit down one day and make a list of all the things that people are embarrassed to do that they shouldn't be embarrassed to do, and then do them all on television.

What a splendid idea! All we have heard in the UK this year is 'cuts', 'cuts' and 'cuts' again. To see the coalition scrubbing a few toilets (cleaning toilets being Warhol's original example) would do us the world of good, especially at a time like this.

Oh the sight of Clegg and Cameron with their marigolds on - blue for Cammo, red for Cleggy - laughing and smiling like a newly wed couple, as they always do! If you've lost your job during the crisis, you'll probably feel right as rain after seeing them on their knees too.

Come on, lads. Do it for Britain. After all, you do really love us, don't you?