Consolation Prizes, They Ain't

'Books, which we mistake for consolation, only add to our sorrow.'

This line comes from the character Black in Orhan Pamuk's My Name is Red. I've become a fan of Pamuk in recent years, ever since reading his tender memoir Istanbul: Memories of a City. 

Then I read Pamuk's The New Life, a metaphysical thriller about a guy who reads a life-changing book. Feeling somewhat more appreciative of spirituality in the last couple of years, I enjoyed the wisdom within.

However, I disagree with the quote in bold. 

Do books add to sorrow? 

Not in my opinion. It depends what you read. I don't read harrowing biographies or novels, but I'm pretty sure that despite all the tragic events in them, they become more positive towards the end and inspire the reader. 

The closest I got to this kind of book was reading the Angela's Ashes trilogy by the pioneer of miserable literature, the late Frank McCourt. I loved it. And far from depressing me, the trilogy introduced me to literature I'd not read before, namely Dostoevsky's Crime and Punishment (which I thought was brilliant!), and new observations on life.  

What do books do for us, then? (Or why I love them so much!)

The obvious answer is, they educate. You don't have be an astrophysicist to know that.

But not only do they educate. Far from add to any sorrow, they inspire me. Whether it's a fiction novel, a blog post, a business biography, a reference book on an area of interest, or a 'smart thinking' book... I feel inspired to write and by what I'm reading and what I'm learning from them. If the person who wrote the book can be that brilliant at writing or whatever else they specialise in, then so can I!

As well as educate, books broaden our (mental) horizons and provide us with different perspectives on the world. Though we may not always realise it, they develop our capacity for thought, even if we might not be trying to solve a mind puzzle or contemplating a piece of philosophy at the time. 

And books do offer consolation. When we're feeling bad, there are books out there that can help lift us out of the mire, books by people who have been through what we have. By reading others experiences and their ideas, we can also make sense of our own lives, not to mention life itself. Well, maybe some of it, at least!

Books are an aid to a lifelong project

That project goes by the name of happiness. They may have added to Black's sorrow in My Name is Red, but, for the reasons above, they've enriched this blogger's happiness.

Life is a learning curve, and when  the teachers and the lecturers are gone, you've still got to learn from someone. Books can help you live the life you want to lead, both personally and professionally. 

And I think here is where I'll end the lesson for today....!

Ticket for One, Please

Just the other day I was curled up on one of Costa's mightily comfy sofas, when I overheard the group of girls next to me chatting. One of them stated that she felt less and less like getting into a relationship as she got older.

I'm sure we've all joked about being single by choice, and some people I know truly are. I always thought it was the opposite, though: that as people grow older, they're more likely to want a companion on life's journey. So the girl's comment kind of opened my eyes.

Earlier this week, I read an interesting article in a Men's Health-style magazine about how summer is the perfect time to be single:

• You can soak up the warm summer weather in a beer garden  - if we get any, of course... but this being the UK, summer was last Thursday, so if you were working that day then I'm sorry, you missed it.
• You can 'appreciate' members of the opposite sex
• You can generally relax and do as you please.      

So being single and in my early thirties, I thought I'd have a companion for life by now. But not just yet, as it turns out. 

I'm still learning to embrace being single. Now I see others who are embracing their own single status, though they probably have different reasons to my own, and I see it's not so bad. Freedom and the warm weather are taking the sting out of things. And they will do for some years, I imagine.  

So I'll keep:

• drinking lots of coffee and burying my head in books for hours at Costa
• eating lots of chocolate (there is a connection between sex and chocolate, by the way: eat too much and no one will want to have sex with you!)
• going to concerts by myself and loving it (as long as the music's good, what else do you need?)
• and doing whatever I feel like.

Then, as the temperatures start to drop, the nights pull in and we turn to winter, maybe I'll think about looking for a partner again. 

But only maybe.

Definitely maybe.  

Good Finds, Great Feelings

Whenever I'm back in my hometown, which isn't often, I do a tour of the charity shops. Carrying my trusty backpack on my, er, back, I stride in and out of charity shops, hunting bargain books.

And if it's not the charity shops, then it's a trip to the boot sale! Fans of Stephen King, J.K. Rowling and Dan Brown should all get themselves there!

Based up in Edinburgh, yesterday I popped into a Barnados for the first time in a few months, just on the off chance. Imagine my delight to see Gabay's Copywriters' Compendium in the Special Interest section! It's nothing short of the copywriter's equivalent to the Bible.

'Don't mind if I do,' I said to myself, after letting out an unmanly squeal at my find. Coming across such a specialist book at just 5 pounds, when it costs 17 pounds or so in the shops or online, brightened up my day. Not that it was going badly in the first place, but you know what I mean. 

Sometimes there's nothing like the lift of a good discovery. It doesn't always have to be finding money on the floor either. For instance, a friend and I discovered a quaint little coffee shop that we'd never noticed before, while strolling together down Leith Walk.

This month it's been Gabay's Copywriters' Compendium for me, but what's the best discovery you've made recently. And is it something to write home about?

What's my age again?

Read a Guardian article about one of my celebrity crushes, Jennifer Aniston, recently and how we'll never see her on the cover of Vogue magazine. The reason? Her demands for the right to approve and veto copy and photos of herself. 

I have to admit she was starting to look her age. Naturally, she was still beautiful with it! *cuddles up lovingly and sucks up*

For reasons even my active mind can't understand, Andy Warhol popped into my head. With his trademark white-grey hair, he looked fairly old in his time. Older than he was, I believe.

From there my mind took another random leap, this time to a photo in a book I'd read about Michel Foucalt, the French philosopher (told you it was active!). Just like Warhol wore white hair to obscure his real age, Foucalt refused to let anyone categorise his views or persona.

It all got me thinking about how we become more age conscious as we grow older. Some people like to hide their age. Some people are proud of their age. Some people look their age. Some people don't (that would be me!). Some people act their age... and some people don't (I may be guilty of that sometimes!). 

Some people long to be young again. Others long to be older. But personally, even though I'm still a whippersnapper in body and spirit, I think being older can be a good thing:

• You've lived. 
• You take things in your stride easier. 
• You have stories to tell. 
• You have the common sense that comes with life experiences.

Best of all... If you have enough fun, people will think you're younger anyway!

You're Too Shy Shy (Hush Hush)

You ever gone to a party and found it full of strangers? You just stand there amongst a circle of strangers, holding your can of beer and laughing or nodding in all the right places as the speaker looks at - and maybe talks at- you all. 

(Incidentally, here's a tip to appear sociable but avoid getting completely wrecked: drink a can of beer then keep hold of the empty can for as long as you can, 'sipping' from it every now and then. I tried this and got away with it for a good two hours before having to crack open my next beer.

Alternatively, you can leave them half-drunk around the party venue and open new drinks elsewhere. Both are smashing ruses. The second one is more expensive though!)

Or maybe you've been to a club and seen an absolute bombshell, but not had the courage to approach them.

So how do you overcome this shyness?
Promise you won't laugh if I tell you?  

Before you ask, the answer isn't 'Get completely hammered and worry about the consequences later'. I've no doubt that works, but it's not what I'm about to suggest. 

The obvious answer would be to do a course in public speaking, of course. But believe it or not, I've found out that, to an extent, freelancing can be a great way to overcome shyness.

How so?

Well, freelancers plunge in at the deep end workwise. They go it alone and, to make their living, have to find their own clients. This means they have to approach people they've never met before and pitch for their business, basically telling the potential client how brilliant they are. 

Then when they've talked the talk and charmed the client into their client portfolio, they've got to walk the walk and prove they were worth the investment.

It all takes courage. And it all comes from people who, as freelancers, others think are shy, retiring, loner types. I was once a freelancer and preferred to think of myself as a lone wolf, as a bit of a maverick.

We---ll, you've gotta add a bit of glamour to the role, ain't ya!

Not only that, though...

Now this is daft and I'm just having some fun, but I also learned we're not afraid to talk to strangers on the phone. 

For sometimes, as freelancers, we are indeed loner types. There were times when I wouldn't see anyone all day, or at least until the evenings when everyone was back from work.

So when people called but had got the wrong number, I'd quite happily engage them in conversation. Even broadband telesales people suddenly found themselves welcome. Never bought an internet contract off 'em, though!

Some people would also ring me thinking they were actually sending a fax, only to be put through to a private home.  Should have got myself a fax machine set up. Could have been privvy to all kinds of information. Knowledge is power, they say!

Some other guy rang me thinking it was a branch of Santander, the bank. It's a shame I've never had any problems with Santander. I was with another bank at the time and wasn't too happy with them. It would have been a golden opportunity to give an inside story on my bank's connivance!

Then there was one girl who rang my flat by mistake, thinking it was a bakery. Twice she rang, in fact. Such potential. That could have been the start of something beautiful! 

So...
That's how I suggest to overcome shyness. What do you think? Do you know other ways? In fact, maybe you're a freelancer yourself and have found this is the case too? 

I'm pretty approachable, and all comments are welcome on this blog. But maybe you'd like to grab a drink before you tell me anyway, just in case. 

Come on now - don't be shy!

Forget about the Blues

The hard workers that we are, a lot of us feel the Monday morning blues. 

It's only natural. You've had a marvellous weekend with the family, free of troubles and strife. Or, if you're single like me, with friends or simply relaxing by yourself in that trusty third place. 

Monday morning strikes, the alarm goes off on and the Monday blues go straight to work! It's cold outside. It's back to the grind.

You graft away Monday to Friday to put food on the table, pay the rent, or mortgage, and keep the broadband, TV licence, gas and electric wolves all from the door. 

Suddenly, you're back on top of the world. You're back in the game! You're tickety boo! You've got that Friday feeling! 

The traffic jam on the way home is more bearable. You don't mind if the train or bus is slightly late. You'll even happily stand a bit longer at the supermarket checkout or in the queue in the petrol station easier. What's the rush? It's Friday.

What about Wednesday?

English is a a funny old thing, though. We have the 'Monday morning blues' and 'Friday feeling' to describe these sensations. But what do we have for the mid-week sensations?

You know, the feeling that you're already half way through the week and it's only two more days before you can turn off the alarm for the weekend. 

Any suggestions?

Here are a few of mine:

• the Wednesday we're nearly theres
• the Wednesday expectations
• the Wednesday well being

The thesaurus offered 'seventh heaven' as an option. Wednesday seventh heaven? Maybe that's going a little too far!

I'm sure you can do better than these. I'd love to hear what you come up with. 

Have some fun and banish your own Monday blues with my little challenge. You've got till the Wednesday (insert suggestion) to post your entry!

Romford - Where Life Isn't a Lottery!

So National Lottery research has revealed that Romford, north-east London, is officially the luckiest town in Britain. In the last 17 years, more than 300 people there have won 50,000 big ones or more on the National Lottery. 

Makes me wonder if electronic music duo Underworld predicted this back in the 90s with their song Born Slippy: Mega mega mega going back to Romford! Perhaps they were blowing pound after pound on National Lottery tickets, only to keep coming up with two or three numbers!

Now, we can't all win the National Lottery, nor can we all live in Romford. So today I'm asking if there's a particular place that feels lucky to you, and why. Maybe you got your first job there, met your partner there or just have had good times - and still do - there?

Maybe you have some crazy or funny stories about luck? For instance, do you know of someone who moved to Romford just so they had more chance of winning the National Lottery? Perhaps you know of someone who has insanely good luck?

I think Edinburgh is my lucky place. I've graduated here and now I work here. I met some of my best friends here 10 years ago; and 10 years later I've been reunited with them. 

And best of all, I didn't even have to buy a National Lottery ticket for that. Nevermind Romford - Edinburgh is where it's at for me. 

Won't hurt to buy a National Lottery ticket though.

Tell Me a Story

Recognise the man in the video below? 

Correct. It's the late Steve Jobs - Rest In Peace - giving his famous 2005 Stanford Commencement speech. At the same time, although it wasn't his intention, he's giving a masterclass in copywriting.

By encouraging people to follow their dreams, it's inspiring. By drawing on his own experiences of adversity, it's poignant. It connects with people's emotions and moves them to action. It's one of the best speeches I've ever heard. It's beautiful.

And how does he do it? With one of copywriting's most effective techniques: some good ole storytelling! People love to hear stories, and Steve Jobs's story, as Apple-ites and non-Apple-ites alike know or will imagine, is particularly engaging.

By telling his own stories but making them relevant to his audience, Steve Jobs taps into people's emotions. By explaining what he learned, he rewards them. By combining the two, he moves them to action. Brilliant.

Whether you're a techie or not, whether you're a copywriter or not, listen to this speech and learn from it. Your future starts now!

(Source: Stanford University; http://www.youtube.com/stanford)

(Licence link: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/3.0/.) 

Spice up your life - or search engine optimise it!

I work in two areas: copywriting and customer service. Part of copywriting involves what we marketers call search engine optimisation. That's SEO, for short.

This means designing, writing and structuring websites and their content in such a way so that they rank highly when you search for a certain product, service or piece of information on Google. The purpose is to attract lots of visitors to the website and then, once they're there, persuade them to buy the company's product or hire its service. 

But I feel you can apply some SEO aspects to life too and have a little more fun. Here's how:

Keywords
When people search in Google, they search for something specific. SEO specialists identify the most popular terms used in searches for specific items, services, etc. and tailor the website and the content, or part of them, to these searches. In SEO, we call these terms '(meta)keywords'.

So what are you searching for? A new job? A new home? A new love? What is it about them that would make you happy? Identify the important aspects - these are your 'keywords' - and base your project on them. Once you know what you're searching for, you can optimise your own search. In other words, you can tailor it to achieve the best results: to live a happier life.

Links

Links are a great way to optimise your website. Ideally, your links should be to good quality websites or to benchmark websites. If these link back to you, they'll optimise your website even better: Google puts quality before quantity. Of course, the more high-quality links on your website, the better. And these links may even generate more links.

We all have friends, family and workmates or colleagues. These are our 'life SEO' links. Live a happier life by spending time with family and friends (the high quality links!). Visit them, go places with them, have fun with them. They can introduce you to new 'links': new friends, new experiences or even a new love.

Looking for a job? Chat to workmates. See who or what they know, what links they can offer. Do that and you may just increase your happiness on the work front. 

Headings 

All good copywriters know that headings are crucial for copy, especially on websites. Internet users scan text before they read it (a kind of internet look-before-you-leap equivalent!). Breaking up a text with headings gives it structure, and makes the text easier for readers to scan and go straight to what they're looking for. A whopping big block of text, on the other hand, will frighten them away.

SEO-wise, headings are a chance to slip in some good ole keywords and optimise your site further! They make the website more useable in the eyes of St Google too.

But what do these headings mean for your life? Well, you should never let one part of your life absorb all the rest. 'Family/Partners', 'Friends', 'Work' and 'Education' are just a few of our life SEO headings or sections. Try to split your time up evenly.

If you work or study a lot, find time to play, for the other headings can disappear if the links aren't strong enough. If you spend lots of time with your friends, be sure to always find time for your partner too, and don't let your social or personal life interfere with your work.

Ultimately, try to find balance.

Alt Text

This SEO term refers to the text beneath images that describes the image content for the visually impaired. 

How the Dickens (since he's topical at the moment!) does this apply to life, you ask. Well, take plenty of pictures and capture as many of those special moments as you can. Then you can enjoy explaining your adventures when you show your friends and family the photos.

If there's one thing I've sometimes regretted, it's that I didn't bring a camera with me to certain events (like the Motley Crüe concert, darn it!). The ones I have brought it to, I've loved looking back over the photos. 

Okay, so I stretched that last SEO analogy a bit... but hey, aren't we here to have fun? 

And if you're an SEO specialist, or even if you're not, perhaps you can optimise my joie de vie with some of your own SEO lessons for life!

Bring. It. On.

For me 2011 was a real rollercoaster and ended on a high! Had so much fun! Concerts, winter fairground rides, the acquisition of a Scalextric, reunions with old friends and good times spent with new ones. What more can I ask for?

Did you learn anything from 2011? I did. I learned that positive thinking and being yourself go a long way. There's a wonderful quote from Paulo Coelho's The Alchemist that tells us when we really want something, all of the universe conspires to help us achieve it. It's true. Several things I really wanted came to me in the end. You just have to be patient.

My message for 2012? Enjoy! Fight for your dreams. Do whatever makes you happy! As George Bernard Shaw once commented: We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.

So bring on 2012. It's playtime!

The Everyday Loves You!

On my way to work I dropped into the baker's for some breakfast. I'm partial to doughnuts and cakes that have custard fillings, but, alas, there were none. So I plumped for a fudge doughnut instead.

Imagine my surprise, nay delight (!) when custard oozed out of it. Fate was on my side, for it dribbled down my cleanly shaven chin but mercifully avoided my neatly ironed shirt! It was a such a sweet yet simple surprise - and what a start to the day, too!

Sometimes we lead such busy lives that we forget that the everyday is full of these little pleasures. With bills to pay, kids to raise or studies to complete, we sometimes miss them. What's yours?

Perhaps it's:

• a hot cup of coffee on a cold winter's morning
• heading to bed after a hard day's work
• checking your bank account on pay day
• finishing one good book and starting the next one
• a hug from a loved one (I strongly endorse this one!). 

My unguilty pleasure:

I hinted at it earlier on: I love being showered and clean shaven. Nothing beats it! The warm water all over my body... the scent of my skin after I've washed the shower gel off... then the smoothness of my skin shaved down to the bone, and the fragrance of my favourite aftershave on it afterwards.

Looking sharp and feeling ready to take on whatever the day throws at me. Ooooh yeah!

A Little Help with your Search...

Ever woke up and thought: What's it all about? What are we doing here? Or even just been stuck in a traffic jam or supermarket queue and asked yourself it?

Sure you have! And you're not the only one. Philosophers have been pondering this little teaser since Ancient Greek times (though not in rush hour traffic or the nightmarish queue in Morrison's on Christmas Eve, admittedly!).

Here are some of their solutions:

• To pursue good
• To become virtuous
• To be happy
• To achieve self-fulfilment.

Your trusty blog-losopher, however, begs to differ with Socrates, Kant and friends! Although if intellectual push came to shove, they'd punch me out before I'd even passed back the spit bucket! 

The real answer:  

A mountain in southern Chile



Waterfall at Iguazu, Argentina



A breathtaking view of Bariloche, the lake zone

Glacier in El Calafate, Argentina

These are just a few of my pics from a truly marvellous trip to Argentina, plus a cheeky two days in southern Chile as well. The world is full of magnificent sights like these and we've been put on this earth to see them!

That's what it's all about for me. Sometimes life can be so simple!

And for you?

I Don't Care What the Weatherman Says... If the Weatherman Says It's Raining

Come the sunny weather, the first thing I want to do is whip on my T-shirt and shorts, get out there, and let me and my moobs and muffin-top enjoy the glorious sunshine! I want to zip out for a stroll along the seafront, stop off for a 99, and then revel in the warmth some more.

(Of course, before doing all that, I slap on a bucket of sun cream.)

But come the wet and windy weather, my dressing gown and slippers go on, as does the kettle. Then I'll maybe hop into bed and let a good book do the rest. What else can I do?

On second thoughts, though, rainy days do have a purpose. They're Nature's way of making you clean out a cupboard, tidy your room, do homework or some other long overdue task. They're the chance to do everything you've been putting off because the weather has been so damned good!

Capitalising on your rainy day gives you such a boost. Then when the ole currant bun (sun!) comes back out to play, you can slip into your summer gear without that nagging voice in your head saying, 'You're gonna have to do it sooner or later.' 

So whatever it is you've gotta do, now's the time to do it. Then you can truly always take the weather with you!

Dry Your Eyes, Mate

Anyone out there feeling low or a little blue? 

Well, if you are, you might want to try a wonderful book called The Happiness Project, by Gretchen Rubin (http://www.happiness-project.com/). 

This charming little book is helping me to understand some of the disappointment and unhappiness in my life and cope with it better. 

One part I've particularly enjoyed is the 'Enjoy the Fun of Failure' section in the 'March' chapter on work. In it, Gretchen recounts how her fear of failure had stood between her and success. She highlights how she had had articles rejected, ideas turned down and work criticised.

Promisingly, she shows us that failure doesn't have to be bad. Instead of losing hope, Gretchen overcame her fear of rejection and, by by doing so, created new opportunities for herself.

I've applied for several jobs now and not been able to bring home the bacon, but I know I will do some day. 'Enjoy the Fun of Failure' has taught me to see disappointment differently:

• Every application is an opportunity, or may lead to one elsewhere
• Every problem is a chance to test your limitations
• Rejection is a chance to learn something new - about yourself or about someone or something else.

So I'll keep on applying until someone utters those magical words: 'You're hired!' Sometime soon, hopefully! Meanwhile, I'm off to roller-blade away my latest disappointment!

Bring on the next one!

What Rollerblading Has Taught Me About Life

Putting a fall before my pride, at long last I've strapped on my helmet and protective pads and took to my rollerblades. Righteous, dude...!

I'd love to say I was at one with my blades, gliding gracefully up and down the street, the blades just an extension of myself -- but I wasn't and they weren't. There, in the stillness of the street, I schmoozled along... rollerblading's equivalent of a tractor on a country lane. 

Thankfully the street itself isn't too wide, so I didn't cause any tailbacks. Cars drove past me without me falling over, kids zipped past me on their bikes and scooters, and people no doubt sniggered as they disappeared into the Redcar sunset.

But who cares? Not me. Ever persevering and ever so slightly, I'm starting to get the hang of it. Not that I can hit Redcar's pathways for a while yet, but practice will one day catapult me something above mediocre!

Meanwhile, not only am I learning how to use the blades. In the process, I'm learning not to care about:

• if others think the worst - let them mock or criticise if they wish...
• the time factor - all good things will come eventually
• the age factor - you're never too old. 

Out there on my blades, I'm loving the experience, the learning, and I'm getting some much needed exercise. Never mind the X Factor: I've got the feel good factor! I feel alive!  

If you're in the 'I'd love to try that some day' predicament, act now instead of waiting for 'someday'. I wholeheartedly recommend it. 

Why wait any longer to hit that high?

What Did You Just Call Me?

'I will hate you till the day I die and wish you nothing but ill will in every career move you make. I will be watching with interest and schadenfreude.'

This gloriously hateful line was allegedly posted online by Alain de Botton after a scathing review of his latest book at the time The Pleasures and Sorrows of Work.

Coming from such a serene thinker, t'is most unusual. Normally, Big Al shows us how philosophy can help us deal with this kind of thing ... illustrates how it can make our lives easier. That's why his work is so refreshing - and why the comment above is so surprising. 

But if you were a writer and had been on the end of a jolly rotten review, how would you have dealt with it?

Going back, there used to be a time when harsh words hurt me. Now I just take them on the chin instead. Picture Robocop marching down a street, all the bullets richocheting off his armour, ping after ping. I try to be like that.

With plasters, bandages and Surgical Spirit all at the ready, I willfully accept any criticism of this blog. Be as cutting or as gentle as you like. Then I can get my trusty writer's toolbox out afterwards and give it a damned good tweaking for the better!

I reckon writers should take a leaf out of my book, or page out of my website as it were, and use negative feedback to make them stronger.

They say the truth hurts.

Yet at the same time, they also say it sets you free.

I know which one I prefer!